How to Have a Successful Family Meeting

Published on October 24, 2024

Schedule before it’s an emergency

The best time to hold a family meeting is before any emergency arises, while your loved one is still healthy and capable of expressing their desires. Meeting proactively allows for more options and reduces the pressure of making rushed decisions during a crisis. Planning ahead helps create a calm, respectful environment where everyone thoughtfully considers your loved one’s needs and wishes.

Give family members time

When possible, it’s best to plan the meeting in advance so everyone can attend and come prepared. Setting a clear agenda keeps the discussion focused and productive. Notify family members about the topic and goals of the meeting to give them time to organize their thoughts. Make sure the meeting covers key topics such as caregiving roles, financial planning, future living arrangements, and the level of care needed.

Encourage family members to write down their concerns or suggestions ahead of time so they don’t forget important points and they stay focused. The meeting is a time for everyone to share their thoughts and feelings, so be sure to create an atmosphere of openness where people speak freely and listen without interruption.

Include everyone—especially your loved one

It’s vital to include everyone who will be involved in future care plans, especially the person you’re discussing. Your loved one’s wishes should guide the conversation. Open communication is essential for everyone to work toward the same goal with a clear understanding of what your loved one wants in terms of care.

Use medical information to inform decisions

If your loved one is facing a medical condition, bring in information from their healthcare providers. Doctor’s notes or assessments clarify the situation and make sure that all family members understand any issues your loved one is experiencing. This reduces the risk of misunderstandings or unrealistic expectations and makes the conversation more objective.

Manage emotions and take breaks

Discussions about caregiving and future care can be emotionally charged. Some family members may find it difficult to address these challenging issues, and it’s important to recognize when emotions are running high. If tensions rise, it’s okay to take breaks. Step away from the conversation, allow everyone to calm down, and return to the discussion with a clearer mindset.

Discuss all options and assign responsibilities

During the meeting, it’s important to explore all available options for care and inform everyone about the possible choices. Make notes of any unanswered questions that may require further research, such as financial implications or availability of specific services.

Once the options are laid out, create an action plan and assign responsibilities to family members. For example, one person may be tasked with researching assisted living facilities, while another might handle finances. Dividing jobs creates a manageable workload where progress can be made in a timely manner.

Be prepared to revisit the plan

Plans may need to change as circumstances evolve. A medical condition may worsen, financial situations may shift, or your loved one’s preferences may change. Regularly revisiting and revising the plan helps to keep it aligned with your loved one’s needs and best interests. Flexibility is key to ensuring the best possible care.

Aim for the best possible outcome

Ultimately, the goal of any family meeting is to create a plan that best supports your loved one. It should honor their wishes, treat them with dignity, and provide the level of care they need. By communicating openly, listening empathetically, and planning thoughtfully, you can create a care plan that brings your family together in support of your loved one’s health and happiness.

Source: IlluminAge AgeWise with information from Colorado State University Extension and Family Caregiver Alliance